Depression is Not Always A Psychological Issue

Depression is often seen as a psychological disturbance where a person is persistently sad. The other symptoms include having trouble with concentration, getting easily annoyed by small things, unexplained anxiety, a negative perception of every situation, morbidity etc. The description I have given here is not the textbook explanation of depression or any symptomatic guide to detecting depression. These are traits that I have seen in a few patients of depression that I have encountered.

In fact, I have endured most of these very symptoms at one time in my life. My continuous work stress led me to believe that I might have a serious issue on my hands. So, I booked an appointment for myself and visited the doctor. After hearing my case, the doctor just prescribed a mild antidepressant and some sleeping tablets for me. He did not bother explaining my problem to me or tell me why I needed those pills. I was dismayed at this behaviour, but I still took the medicines. I tried them for 2 weeks and found no improvement. Moreover, I was always sleepy, which got me into trouble at work. When I went back for a followup visit, the doctor wanted to increase the dosage. I was not convinced, so I decided to take things into my own hands.

I did some research on the matter. There were many articles about the seriousness of the illness, the stigma attached to it, the symptoms and possible treatments techniques etc. But, most of the information was only from a behavioural and psychological standpoint. I wanted to avoid taking antidepressants and sleeping pills. I turned to yoga, meditation, walking, and other hobbies to keep my mind stress free and relaxed. It helped to a certain extent, but every now and then, my mind would take a turn into that dark alley where the shadows lie.

This is when I found an article about how nutritional deficiency leads to mood swings, anxiety, depression, fatigue, irritability etc. All these symptoms point towards depression when they persist over a long period. This got me thinking, I immediately booked a lab test for myself to check if my problem was less psychological and more to do with nutrition.

I was having B complex deficiency along with being anaemic. This meant I was having a deficiency of iron, vitamin B9, B6, B12 among other things. The article I had read suggested that a deficiency of all the above vitamins along with magnesium, selenium, iodine, omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin D etc tend to lead to depression. I took the results to a local doctor and he prescribed a set of vitamin supplements and a new diet plan. Within a few weeks, I was feeling more like myself and eventually, I made a full recovery.

What shocked me about this episode, was the psychiatrist that I approached at first, did not ask for any such tests. He did not check about my general health, my eating habits or any other symptoms apart from psychological ones. He was in a hurry to just prescribe antidepressants. My initial research always spoke about the psychological factors and aspects and hardly ever spoke about the impact of nutrition and food habits on our mind. They speak very vaguely about eating healthy food and avoiding junk food. But I had no idea, a simple vitamin or mineral deficiency could disrupt our mind, behaviour and attitude as well.

I was lucky to get out of this mess without any damage done. I want everyone to become aware of the impact of nutrition and healthy food on our body and also our mind. If you suffer from depression, anxiety or any such psychological problems, make sure you also check for any vitamin/ mineral deficiencies and hormone imbalances. I am sure your doctor would have checked on this, unlike mine. But, it is always better to be informed about all the aspects.

Beware Of The Impact Of Kindness

An act of kindness is universally respected as a good deed. Every religion teaches us to be kind and helpful. We praise generosity and we elevate compassionate people to a God-like status. Then, why did I warn you to be wary of the result of kindness?
Let me tell you a story to explain the statement.

There once was a village of wealthy and prosperous people. All the people of this village were blessed with good health, wealth and abundance. The villagers were grateful for their fortune, they shared it freely with those who were less fortunate. Once a sickly poor mendicant came to their village asking for charity. Everybody donated freely to help the poor man. Soon, with all their kindness, the beggar’s health improved. He was able to save enough money to stop begging. He took up a job in the village. Seeing his development, more beggars started to visit this village. The kind citizens continued to help everyone who came. But some of the villagers observed the sudden increase of beggars, they stopped being so generous. Soon, the rest of the families too started to make the same observation and stopped giving alms as freely as before.

The new beggars did not like this change. They started to demand charity, instead of requesting it. If anyone refused to help, they would get agitated at them. As the situation worsened, more and more families stopped helping. This made the beggars riotous.

Observing all these changes, the village elders and the chief called for a meeting. They wanted to settle this conflict, so they sat down to discuss the concerns. Through this discussion, the chief realized that the whole ruckus was a result of their own kindness.

The villagers were kind to everyone who asked for help, they never checked if the person deserved help or not. They blindly served everyone who asked. Their unquestioning attitude and kindness attracted all the freeloaders and lazy people around. The village became a haven for lazy and good for nothing people. Their begging was no longer a request for help, it became a demand for money. Later, it became the responsibility of the villagers to feed this bunch of beggars.

If you think that this is just another imaginary story, then think again. Transpose this story onto your life and analyse. Often, we try to be helpful to friends or family just because they are our friends or family. We go out of the way to help them, but our friends take the help for granted. God forbid, if we refuse to help them for any reason, they start to get agitated and emotionally blackmail us. They make statements like, ‘how can you be so cold-hearted?’ or ‘is our friendship not worth the trouble?’ They guilt-trip us into going beyond our limits to help them.

It is not just with our friends and family, we see this trend even with certain charitable and social organisations. They make us feel guilty for our well being and use this guilt to manipulate us into donating more than we can afford.

I will not persuade anyone against compassion. In fact, the world could use more kindness, but beware of whom you shower it upon. Not everyone who asks for help deserves it. Do not fall prey to false propaganda and manipulative lies. Stop and check the veracity of any problem before you start to help them.

Always Finish What You Start

Have you ever started something that you were very excited about, but have quit midways? Have you started a project with one idea in mind and when things didn’t work out as you planned, you lost interest. It has happened to me a few times and I have burnt my fingers to learn from this mistake. Never quit midways. Always have the patience to wait until the end. If you have confidence in your convictions then it is worth the effort, I speak from experience when I say this.

While in college pursuing my undergraduate degree, I had taken up a computer programming course. My intention was to earn enough programming certificates so that I can take a job in either the programming field or my chosen field. The plan seemed simple at that time. A little into this course, I realized that it was not that simple after all. My programming certificates were not equivalent to a degree in computer science, so I may not get jobs as easily as I hoped. This disheartened me and I quit my course halfway through to continue with my undergraduate program. After graduation, when I started my job hunt, I faced tough competition at all interviews. Any additional qualifications that one held became important. I lost a few lucrative job opportunities, to someone who had done a certificate course in programming. This was a hard punch to me, though I had knowledge of programming, I did not have the patience to complete the course and get my certificate. This was the first time that I learnt this lesson.

Though I learnt my lesson, I did not quite remember it. Later on in life, I faced a similar problem. I decided to get fit and enrolled in a fitness program. To join this program, I quit my yoga class halfway through. Again, I lacked patience and was in a hurry to get healthy fast. A week into my new health class, they started yoga training. I was upset, I told them that I just quit my yoga class to come here so that I can get on a fast track. The cherry on the top was that, if I had finished my yoga class, I could have leapfrog this level. Since I quit halfway through, I had to redo the whole thing. 

There are many such situations in all our lives, some funny, some not so funny, where we ended up paying dearly for our impatience. Call it lack of foresight or impatience or lack of planning. Either way, we paid dearly for not finishing what we started. Consider yourself lucky and learn from my mistake, if you have not faced such situations. 

Many of us, would have set up New year resolutions hoping to better themselves. Make sure you follow through on your resolution and not quit. You never know when this resolution will add a new lifeline for you. So, I resolve that this year, I will finish all the endeavours that I take up. Here’s to hoping that I’m successful in doing it. Cheers!!

Why Me??

Lately, I find myself looking up at the sky and asking, “Why Me?” Did it ever happen to you that you speak politely to a person, yet they respond rudely? Or have you ever boasted about your skill at a certain task, and you proceed to fail miserably at it. You never failed at this simple task, but that day when you have an audience, fate decides to give you a taste of defeat.

On one occasion, I set out to help someone who was in trouble. I genuinely put in my best effort, but somehow, I end up creating a bigger mess than the original problem. I felt guilty, but there is nothing that I could do to undo the damage. I was kicking myself all the way home for poking my nose on others problem.

Has it ever happened that you took procrastination to the next level and now you have only one night to complete your project? To add a little more spice to the existing problem, out of the blue, without even the slightest sign of a warning there is a power cut.

You just enjoyed a relaxing hot water bath on a cold winter day. Your mind now feels refreshed as if you meditated for an hour and your body can easily drift into blissful sleep. You turn off the shower and only then realize that you forgot your towel.

You make reservations for your favourite vacation. As the day approaches, you finish packing everything for the trip, you tidied up the house, watered the plants and did all that needs to be done before taking the much-awaited break. Then suddenly, out of the blue, you fall sick. Hating to give up, you pack medications and go ahead with your vacation with sheer determination, and not give up due to the minor obstacle (as you would like to think of it). Despite all efforts, upon reaching your destination you are so down that you can no longer enjoy your dream vacation.

It is at times like these that I feel like looking up to the heavens and asking God, in all sincerity, “Why me? why now?”. While my predicament could provide some comic relief to others, it leaves me feeling blue. It appears that I suddenly turned into a sitcom show for the fates above. I’m sure many of you have similar stories to share and please do share. At least we won’t feel alone.

Rangoli – Art Work On Floor

Recently we celebrated Sankranthi in India. It is a farmers festival that indicates the start of the farming season. It is a very grand celebration in villages with festivities spread over 3 days. I will not get into the details of how and why we celebrate Sankranthi, but I would like to speak about one key aspect of Sankranthi. That is the Rangoli or the Kollam that we draw to decorate our houses.

Rangoli or Kollam as it is called in South India is an art form, where we draw intricate and colourful patterns, flowers, or images on the floor with rice flour or chalk powder.

These rangolis can also be made with plain chalk powder, by drawing chain links around a series of dots to form patterns. here are a few examples of this style.

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Drawing Rangoli has always been a hobby of mine that I get to indulge in during the festival of Sankranthi. I have tried quite a few patterns over the past few years. Take a look at some of them.

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The festival of Sankranthi has many more aspects to it than just rangoli. You pray to the sun god Surya, fly kites, make special sweet with jaggery and sesame seeds, or peanuts etc. The festival basically indicates the start of the new farming season, so we also burn or get rid of the old articles in our house. If you are interested to know about the festival, I will do another post on that. This post has been about my love for Rangolis and their beauty.

Understand the problem before you set out to resolve it

We always speak about identifying the problem and working towards resolving it. But, there is an important step in between both of them and that is ‘Understanding’ the problem. As a matter of fact, understanding the issue is the biggest part of resolving it. I’ve heard many people say, “what can you gain by understanding it, just get rid of the issue”.

By not understanding the predicament, we run many risks. One of them is that our resolution to the issue might be incomplete. We could give the wrong solution that might check the trouble, but not resolve it. We could also end up repeating the mistake that caused the issue in the first place. 

Here is an example of an actual problem that was aggravated because of lack of understanding. An uncle in our neighbourhood developed a cough. Since it was winter, the doctor attributed the case to be simple cold and treated it accordingly. The cough persisted, so the doctor increased the dosage of the cough medicine. The issue was not resolved even then. The uncle changed many doctors over 3 months with no results. He got multiple chest x rays, blood tests, and cultures done to check for an infection. Due to the prolonged cough, he developed redness and soreness of throat along with severe pain in his chest muscles. He was not able to eat anything much and was feeling very weak and miserable.

In the meantime, he went to another doctor to try his luck. As it turns out, he was lucky. This doctor asked for all other symptoms apart from coughing and pains. He also reviewed food habits and considered the past history of my uncle’s health. Once he got a clear picture, he started his treatment. My uncle was cured of his cough. We were ecstatic and we asked the doctor the reason why his medicines worked while all else failed.

It turns out the reason for my uncle’s cough was not in his lungs or throat or any infection. My uncle had an acidity problem and suffered from acid refluxes. His throat was damaged because of the acid reflux and this irritation in his throat led to cough. When the doctor gave him medication to cure his acidity, it removed the root cause and his cough was alleviated. 

This example of acidity causing cough might be a one-off situation. However, it helps to highlight the point that understanding the problem is the best way to resolve it. Try not to rush to solve the problem rather, take time to understand what is transpiring and why it is occurring. Then formulate your plan to save the day.

Göteborg – Sweden

The first time I heard of the port city of Göteborg , it was concerning the Volvo headquarters and the car manufacturing unit. My father, an engineer, was very interested in the place and went to Göteborg to visit that factory. Sadly, my knowledge of the place was limited to this single fact. This Nordic city is steeped in a rich heritage and history. I give you a small glimpse of the vibrant sights and sounds.

The first thing that captures your attention is the network of waterways and canals around the city. They offer tours around the place on these canals. The city’s tram service is another fascinating way to views the sights and sounds of the city.

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The city hall or the Gustav Adolf’s Torg is a majestic building that houses the main government administrative offices.

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Göteborg has many outdoor cafes, bistros and eat-outs where you can enjoy a lazy brunch while you appreciate the weather.

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History enthusiasts have many places to visit in and around Göteborg. One of them would be, the Tjolöholms Slott, which is a magnificent castle that located is south of Göteborg. Another incredible place to visit would be the Bohus Fortress which is over 700 years old. The Gunnebo House and Gardens is an 18th-century manor. Regrettably, we were not able to snap any good photographs of the place.

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I have sourced a few photographs from the website: https://www.goteborg.com/en/

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There are many more hidden gems that Göteborg has to offer. Hope to visit the place to catch up on all the amazing sights that it offers. Oh!! I almost forgot to mention about the nature reserves and gardens that Göteborg has to offer. There are many beautiful gardens to visit like the Rose Gardens, Jonsered Gardens, Gothenburg Botanical Gardens and many more. If you are interested in the place, carefully plan your trip to many time for all this and more.

Freedom of Speech: Privilege or Fundamental Right

Freedom of speech is the freedom to express one’s opinion without fear of consequence or retribution. It is considered as a basic human right that every citizen should be accorded. As such, many countries around the world list freedom of speech as a basic right of their citizens. They proudly proclaim that every citizen has the right to express their opinions and voice their concerns.

The citizens of most countries, may have the right to speak, but what about the consequences of said speech?

There has been a recent wave of activism around the world in countries like the USA, Hong Kong, India, France, Middle East, Philippines, South American countries etc. We get to see which countries truly offer freedom of speech without retaliation to its citizens.

While one country bans journalists, another imprisons dissidents. Some countries even resort to a military crackdown on protesters or order silent kidnappings and assassinations of these speakers. All this happens while they proudly declare that they offer freedom of speech.

The reason that I am speaking, on this issue, is that I want to make people revaluate all the fundamental rights that they are offered. Many countries say that it’s citizens have the right to free speech. Yet, all speakers are effectively hushed at the end of the day. Anyone who raises questions is extracted and jailed or simply killed.

Does this happen in your country? Do you see activists raising difficult questions and living to tell the tale? For this exercise, don’t consider the conspiracies that keep floating around in social media. Make a quick check of all the social activists and if they are free or jailed or worse. If they are still continuing their work, then it is a good sign for civil liberties.

A tweet or a facebook post stating that our government is becoming fascist does not make it the truth. The fact that these people are allowed to speak badly about their government daily is proof that democracy prevails.

Just enabling free speech does not exempt the government of all wrongdoings. However, it gives the citizens a chance to question their leaders, ask pertinent questions regarding policies. They can speak up and discuss all the obstacles in the path. Citizens can now negotiate an amicable end to any disagreement. Every democracy can function only when there is equal participation from all sides. To participate in a democracy, Freedom of Speech is the cornerstone value.

Counting My Blessings This Year

Hello readers!!
This year has been a memorable one for me due to various reasons. Some good reasons and some not so good reasons. You might say that is what life is about. There are ups and downs in everyone’s life. I have shared a few significant events of my life with you through my blog posts.

My year started out with high hopes and grand plans. The mood was upbeat, with the buzz of activity. As we were renovating our house, the world looked brighter and, I felt optimistic.

I have started my blog this year….that is definitely a happy memory. It has become a means to channel and compartmentalise my thoughts into valuable lessons. I would have forgotten them otherwise.

I have made some new friends this year. I became acquainted with some great people that inspire me and motivate me to work harder.

I have witnessed the loss of a dear cousin. I may not have been very open with my affection for this brother, but I sorely miss him.p

I also attended the marriage of a niece and a nephew. They were such joyful occasions that brought the whole family together.

As I keep counting the events of the year, I realised that despite the dreary mood, my year had been a reasonably fortunate one. In the face of some unfortunate news, I overlooked all the good things that happened to me. Isn’t this a typical situation? We are stuck on one news (it could be good or bad) and we ignore all the rest of the world. We even fail to see how that single event fits into the grander scheme of life events.

It Is The Season To Spread Joy

It is Christmas time. I know, most of you are thinking, ‘no shit Sherlock’. My point is that it is Christmas time and it is the time to spread joy, love and brotherhood. If you are a feminist, then it is sisterhood too.

Most of us immediately run to buy gifts, clothes and cards when we speak of spreading joy. Moreover, these gifts are shared with friends, family and loved ones. I know that this is a tradition, it reminds us of all that family time.

But, I ask you whether this is the true meaning of spreading joy. As far as I can see, most of us me included, share our love with the people we know. We mingle and spend time with loved ones. How is that spreading joy? When we say spread the joy, it should go outside of our known circle of people.

This Christmas, try to reach out to that friend or neighbour that we are no longer in touch with. Try to speak to those that we usually choose to ignore. Make an effort to mend fences with an estranged member of family or friends. I believe that would be the true meaning of spreading joy and love.

By doing this, you are reaching out to those you don’t exactly love. You are including and expanding your circle. Your friends and family get your time all year long. It is time someone new also gets your love and a share in your joy.

I plan to practice this and hope you do too. Tell me in the comments about how successful you have been.
Merry Christmas!!

We Need To Develop A Thick Skin

We often come across stories of intimidation through trolling, bullying, severe and vociferous criticism etc. Be it skin colour, body type, thoughts, ideas, religion or something as random as dresses we wear, anything can trigger an avalanche of hate toward us. In our endeavour to be heard and to express our opinion, we often encounter such behaviour. They have become commonplace in the society which often believes itself to be the judge, jury and executioner in all matters social.

Take the example of the recent case cyberbullying of the 16-year-old climate activist, Greta Thunberg. For all her tireless activism, Time magazine named her the person of the year. This triggered an unwarranted Twitter attack from President Trump. Where earlier he ridiculed her health condition and mannerisms, today he suggested her taking anger management classes.

In life, every decision we make will be met with an equal number of supporters as well as opposers. There is nothing wrong in stating an opinion as long as it does not prey on someone’s confidence and self-esteem. Constant criticism and bullying often lead to depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts. Every small remark or comment made against a person dents their confidence and scars their psyche. Many people have spoken about this negative behaviour with little to no impact on the trends.

However, I would like to make a note of caution on this point. Sometimes, people become so sensitive about a review that they refuse to consider constructive feedback too. In fear of being bullied, we close our mind to all kinds of feedback, both useful and otherwise. This is another dangerous behaviour in itself.

The way I see it, despite constant reminders, coaching, punitive laws, trolling and bullying continue to thrive in the world. It makes more sense that we try to find a way to overcome this monster by making our self tougher and stronger.

I do not condone any form of bullying and bullish behaviour, however, I feel that we all need to develop a thick skin. If we want to survive in today’s world, we all should be able to brush off these bullies and critics. We need to stand tall and strong with our beliefs. We have to learn to maintain a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem. We should believe in our self strongly enough so that these bullies cannot budge our confidence. As long as we are not breaking any rules or law, we need not be afraid of others’ opinions. We should only look at them as empty words of distrustful people.

It is true that bullying and trolling is a wrong attitude and it should stop. You might say that it is not the victim who should change, but the perpetrators. I agree with that comment too. However, I feel there is no harm in improving oneself. If having confidence in ourself and strong self-worth is what we need to develop then I want to make that change. Being a victim can only get us so much help. If we want to turn the tide, we need to help ourselves. So friends, do not cower down in the face of bullies and haters. It might take time, but build your self-confidence and self-esteem to fight them.

Attitude For Gratitude

Everyone must develop an attitude for gratitude. This is one of the main lessons that is taught by all self-help gurus, life coaches, personality development speakers etc. They always say that we must be grateful for what we have. We must say thank you to God or the universe or the people around us. Who you thank depends on what you are thankful for.

Every time I heard this phrase, I thought, “What do I have to be thankful for?” My job was a dead-end one, my personal life was going nowhere; I saw people around me moving forward while I felt stagnant. I had a very depressing sense of life. Every time I spoke to my sisters, I would always complain about my problems. Sometimes they would just listen, sometimes they would correct me on my thinking. My friends would try to reassure me and make me see the good in life around me. Some friends even introduced me to life coaches to help me find joy. My parents supported me by being patient and understanding. I appreciated all their efforts and yet, I found nothing to grateful for.

My mood continued to be sad for a few months. I don’t quite remember what made me turn to God for help, but I did that. I went to a temple, sat down and told my troubles to God. I asked him, “What is there to be grateful for in my life?” That was when my question was answered.

Before you think that I went crazy, let me explain, God did not actually answer my question. I had an epiphany while I was going to work. Though I have always complained of not having anything to be grateful for, I forgot about the biggest gift I always had, ‘someone to speak to’.

I always had my sisters, whom I ran to with my complaints. My friends tried to cheer me up. My parents never complained about my sour moods. My relatives also tried to help me find a way out. I have so much to be grateful for right here.

My job might be a dead-end one, but it keeps me busy through the day. My pay might be bad, but it keeps a roof on my head and food to eat. I have difficulties, but I have people who will listen to them. Whenever I feel lost, I have people who will show me the way back home. If I am moody, I have friends to cheer me up. What more can I ask for in life?

Indeed, I am not as successful as I could be or as rich as the next person. I might not lead as fulfilling a life as someone else. However, I still have the potential to achieve them. I have the means and resources to turn things around for myself.

That day, I thanked God, the universe and life in general for giving me all this. I found a direction to move forward in. Each and every one of us has the potential to be the best. We can achieve greatness and reach the highest point in our life. We just do not realize what we have. We always look at things we do not have and we feel bad. It reminds me of a proverb that my mother told us. There was once a man who was bothered about picking up the grains of wheat that fell down in front. He was so busy picking them, he missed all the tasty fruits and melons that were behind him. It is time we wake up and build our attitude for gratitude.